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What A Week...
With rust displayed all over the diamond, the Puppets were absolutely dismantled in the Opener on April 29th in Elk Grove. The Dukes hammered the Puppets 17-4, scoring 11 runs in the first two innings of play. Ken Trendel suffered his first loss of his career, after missing most of the 2006 season to an ankle injury. Brad displayed his power in the fourth with his first homerun of the season, and Jimmy McNally reached base twice in defeat. The Puppets were able to bounce back on Friday, in their Naperville opener, dominating Printers Row from beginning to end in a decisive 12-7 victory. The Puppets scored 4 in the first, and never trailed in the game. Kenny rediscovered the magic, striking out 3 batter, while reaching base four times. Kurt Kalush also reached four times in the game. Greg arrived just in time, and turned a huge 9-3 double play to kill a huge Printers Row inning. Monasteros sent a huge message to the Puppets Sunday, the long time Puppet doormat, came within one base hit of tying the Puppets in the 7th. The Puppets led wire to wire again, but this one was far from easy, as Monasteros scored six runs in the seventh to close the deficit to one, and had two men on base, before Bryan recorded the final putout for the 12-11 win. The win pushed the Puppets streak to two games, and earned Kenny his second win of the season. The Puppets are off at Elk Grove next Sunday, but play Wed. in Naperville at 7:30, and Friday in Naperville at 6:30.
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Final Offseason Notes...
Another offseason has come and gone, and here are the highlights that were left behind. Kurt will finally graduate from Eastern Illinois. I think he is going to be a teacher, but I am not certain. Jared just can't quite shake the lame tag, people still have this theory that if you are not engaged and over 25 you should no longer live with your parents or a group of guys, maybe next offseason Jared. Brett is contmeplating marriage, but Ben is sure he is ready for a commitment. Bryan still works in the middle of nowhere, amongst the children of the corn, he still vows not to miss a game. Pat is coaching highschool arena football, it has not caught on yet, but I heard they won state, it is just unfortunate no other schools had a team. All caught up, no, then I will continue, Dan and Kenny are still going through with their weddings, and after Kenny ties the knot, the pool begins, who will get divorced first. Joey B. is still married, and now he wants kids, its a shame he now lacks the ability to get an erection. Andy still has two kids, and still resembles the life style of a man in Compton and not beverly, but image isn't everything. Jay grew a bit this offseason, and his new shirt size is youth large, perhaps next year he may be in adult sizes.
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The Trendel-Martin Wedding According To The Books...
Vegas has finally released the odds for the upcoming Trendel-Martin Wedding. These are subject to change, but as of Monday, here are the current lines. - 5-2 That the marriage actually happens.
- 2-1 Jared Shamblin breaks down in tears at the wedding.
- 3-2 A Trendel throws up on something.
- 20-1 Mike Lazich and Bryan Trendel slow dance together.
- 25-1 Brett leaves his date in the parking lot, and steals one of Juan's dates.
- 5-2 Jared brings Ace as his date.
- 50-1 Ben proposes to his Tina at the wedding.
- 100-1 McNally proposes to my Tina at the wedding.
- 10-2 Andy makes the first inappropriate Jewish remark at the wedding.
- 500-1 That Kenny and Katies first dance will be the the theme song from Ghostbusters.
- 10-1 That someone will get hurt between the Church and the reception.
Odds are subject to change.
Fun Facts and Numbers...
- 17-The number of days it took Jared to recover from SARS thanks to that no good Asian whore.
- 12 oz.- The amount of lotion it would take to moisturize Ben's nipples.
- 72 Hours-The estimated time it would take to cut either Brad or Bryan's hair.
- 17 minutes-The amount of time Brett would last on Survivor.
- 17 Seconds-The amount of time Brett would last being married.
- 13.8 lbs.- The weight of the hair trimmed off Dan's ass.
Quick Facts... - Andy was voted most likely to get passed around a lot in the joint.
- Kenny was voted most likely to talk his way out of getting passed around in the joint.
- Kurt was nominated for a grammy for his hit CD "The strange Sex sounds made when in the presence of my former favorite high school football player."
- John will appear in two episodes "Thats So Raven" this year.
- Jared was voted most likely not to catch an STD from a girl.
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The Return of The Rumors...
Here is the fresh new set of rumors. They are compiled from the past few months of research, and all are mostly true. - That Jared masturbates in Aces bed while Ace is at work.
- Pat was fired from the high school he was coaching at, because he had no idea the coach didn't shower with his players.
- Coincidentally, Kurt was fired from student teaching, because he was unaware of the fact that students teachers were not permitted to look under the stalls in the boys bathroom.
- That during a recent DePaul basketball game, Brett accidentally kissed some dude named Vaughn while on the kiss cam.
- Ben is 47 3/8 positive, he is moving back to Chicago.
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